malessi

I get a call on Wednesday from the one and only legendary angler Valps. He tells me that he is hosting the final tournament of 2010 on his home turf, Lake Maspenock. Fellow Arrogant Angler Napa won't be able to make it so he asks me if I'd like to join him. I say yes of course. Within the next few days, Napa finds a way to attend the tournament but fellow angler B doesn't have a partner due to his brother working. We flip flop on whether we want to enter the tournament but finally decide to join after a few jabs from the other anglers.

Sunday morning comes around and we're as unprepared as we could possibly be. B's running late as usual and his plan is to strap the world's largest canoe onto my cars roof. B also loses his keys and I'm thinking to myself 'Is there anything else that can go wrong?' This whole process takes much longer than anticipated so of course we are the last to arrive at the tournament. Thankfully the tournament started a little bit later than planned so we weren't too far behind the competition.

We start packing up the canoe when B tells me that he forgot the cooler in the trunk of his car. I wasn't about to drive all the way back to his house so we grab the bucket from Chucks 1970's cocaine scale and get ready to go. Just as we are about to depart, I realize that we don't have an anchor and it is quite windy out. B asks me if I want to take 3 steps and grab the one right there. I arrogantly decline in what would end up being a foolish decision.

We cast our gary's for about an hour or so when we realize just how foolish of a decision that was because we were being blown all over the place. We didn't have a motor, so we paddle all the way back to the shore and grab one of Valps' homemade anchors. We're moving all around the lake but we haven't received any action. Finally we decide to head out to deeper waters near Blue Balls Lagoon. B picks a nice little spot right outside the lagoon and we get to work.

The day was unfolding just as I had feared. It was about 10:45 and we weren't getting any bites at all. We were going to miss the Patriots game for this? Anger, depression, anxiety and straight up self-loathing were a few of the things I was feeling at this point...

That's when it happened. I felt a massive strike and my rod nearly snapped in half. I started cranking hard and I could tell this fish was substantial. The battle was on and this thing did not want to be caught. I calmly told B to grab the net and then we saw her breach. She was a MONSTER! B netter her easily and brought her into the boat. I looked her in the eye and I could hear the donkey squealing EEEEHHHHH AWWWWW! EEEEHHHHH AWWWWWWW!! She was absolutely gorgeous!! We started going absolutely ballistic as I liplocked her while B filled up our bucket.

Napa and Valps were in Blue Balls Lagoon and could hear all the commotion. They called us up and I told them to come see the pig right away. They came over and couldn't believe their eyes. We all admired the donkey and took a few pictures. I was extremely she would nervous escape because we didn't have a cover for our bucket and she showed more than enough power to escape. Valps eased those concerns by rigging up a nice cover out of our net so that it was impossible for her to escape.

I spent the rest of the tournament alternating between casts and maintenance of the slob. The last thing I wanted was for her to pass away or even worse get out of the boat somehow. I kept one eye on her at all times. We didn't catch any other fish for the rest of the evening so B and I made sure we made it to the shore early so we could hide the slob and pull her out after everyone else weighed in.

Sure enough, we were the last to go. It was a tough day and the top bag at this point was about 4 and a half pounds. We opened the cooler and I pulled her out and watched jaws drop around the circle. My donkey was 21 inches and weighed in at 5 pounds and 10 ounces and she was good enough for first place, and of course the lunker. I took more pictures with her and had one last bonding session. I brought her over to the lake and milked her for a little bit. She was still very healthy due to the constant maintenance I gave her and she swam away with a little grin on her slobby face.

So everything that went wrong on this day happened for a reason. All of the foolish events led up to the slob so I wouldn't have had it any other way. Napa gets the assist for talking me into joining the tourney.

What a way to end my rookie campaign. ROY solidified!

I invited fellow anglers Napa and BB up to Northwood for the weekend. Our buddy Deco came as well. We also brought the women with us - potential mistake but that story is for another time.

We arrived Friday night after work and started slammin beers and crushing food with my sister and brother in law. We mostly just partied on Friday and prepared to wake up early Saturday morning to hit the pond with authority.

Saturday morning and everyones a bit hungover. B and I decide to hit the pond at 7 AM and we load up the cooler. Conditions are ideal and there is absolutely no wind at all. The pond is complete glass. I bring him to my favorite spot on the lake. After we make an offering, B sees some ripples close to the shore and starts peppering the spot. Moments later he angles a bass out from between some lillies. A few moments later I catch a solid bass that was about 2.5 lbs. We both catch nice pickerals and he catches another solid bass. All of this happens within an hour and we know its going to be a real good day.

We go pick up Napa at the shore and we continue to pull Larry;s out of the water. The days work was producing healthy bass consistently. After another hour or so we go and pick up Deco and continue angling. We find another nice spot near an island as Napa tells Deco to pepper a rock he sees. Deco makes a perfect angle and pulls out a real nice 2.13 Larry. Napa makes a textbook angle and lands in about 6 inches of water and pulls out a nice 2.9 bass. We angle for a little bit longer and head back to the shore for lunch.

B and I pass out on couches while Napa and Deco head back out on the pond. After a good 45 mins I wake back up and then we take the girls out on the lake. Courtney and Lia both catch a couple cute bass and enjoy themselves. The days total fish count is at about 25-30 with 15-20 healthy looking bass.

We head back to the shore for dinner and continue getting hammered. We attempt to go jitterbugging but there is no moon at all and everyone is quite sloppy. We dont get a single bite and call it quits after about an hour and a half. We chill around a fire while we plan on another early expedition and then pass out.

Sunday morning arrives and conditions are no longer ideal. There is a bit of wind and rough waters that limit where we can fish on the lake. Napa and I are the only ones who wake up early so we pack the cooler and hit the water. He catches a few nice pickeral but I am struggling to get any bites at all. We fish for a few hours and I am starting to lose patience. After such an epic day we are striking out in a big way. We havent even seen a Larry this day but at least Napa is pulling out a few solid pickeral. The women are getting angry at how little theyve seen of us and were starting to feel the heat. Finally I cast into a weedy area with lillies covering it. As I begin to reel in I am feeling a bit of resistance and I think Im just stuck on weeds and lillies for the 200th time that day. Thats when she breaches and Napa and I saw the slobs face above water. GET THE NET. I reeler her in steady and Napa netted her easily. It was a BEAUTIFUL lunker. We took some nice photos and threw her on the scale. She weighed in at 3.11 and she was the apple of my eye. This was the most cooperative slob I've ever dealt with, she didnt fight at all. She knew she was in good hands and after we weigher her in, I gently set her back down into Long Pond.

It was an awesome booze fueled trip.

Took a trip up to Northwood, NH for Memorial day weekend with my girlfriend, my sister, my brother, my brother in law and my future sister in law. My sister lives right on Long Pond so I put in some long hours on the water. This was my first fishing trip without the guidance of some legendary anglers so I really needed to step up my game.

We pulled out some nice fish but nothing over 2.5 lbs. Lots of good fishing, good beers, good food and good times with family.

It all started on a Friday after an abnormally long and stressful work day. Captain Phil Napa gave me the heads up that there was going to be some angling that night. It was my first jitterbugging experience. I grabbed a few loose Sam's and picked up an 18 pack and a bottle of the Doctor to get prepared.

I arrived at the Legend Valpey's house early only to find fellow anglers JB and Valps himself already out on Maspy. While I waited Napa's arrival, I decided to set my Ugly Stik up with a watermelon Gary and cast off the shore for a bit. No more than 5 casts later, I felt a strike and pulled in a little bass. She was a cutey and looked to be about a pound and a half. She gave me a wink and a smile as I gently released her back into Maspy. Napa arrived shortly after as I pulled out another bass. This one was a little smaller but felt just as good. I could feel it was going to be a solid night. We packed up the canoe and prepared to set off. I was feeling absolutely spectacular. Little did I know, it was just the beginning. . . .

We paddled out a little off the shore and began casting. Napa was teaching me the jitterbug technique like the legend he is. After catching nothing but West Nile from a mosquito infestation, Napa suggested we head towards Smallville. This place earned its name after Napa caught a massive smallie there the previous summer. We arrived in Smallville and began casting as the sky began to darken. We enjoyed a few beers and after some time had passed with no action, a bit of doubt began to creep in mind about Jitterbugging.

A few minutes passed, and then I felt it. It was a massive strike. I tried not to get too anxious and let my jitterbug sit for a moment. I slowly gave it a gentle reel and then BAM!!! This thing was powerful, and I knew right off the bat this was a solid fish. As I reeled her in, I heard what sounded like an alligator flopping around on the top of the water. Napa grabbed the net and scooped her with the precision of a professional. It was my first big fish! I was basically in shock and wasn't even celebrating. Napa was flipping out and then we shined the flashlight on her only to realize it was a MASSIVE smallie! Evidently I didn't realize I was supposed to be excited since I just sat there with a dumb look on my face. We took a few photos and it finally kicked in as we celebrated. As Napa reached for his scale to weigh this beast, I committed one of the most foolish acts of my life and gently released the slob before we could weigh it. I'd say it was at least three and a half pounds but we'll never know due to my rookie mistake. I have no idea what I was thinking but I wasn't going to let it bring me down as we celebrated with some beers and a few knocks of the Doctor.

After the celebration, we started tossing our jitterbugs again. Napa felt a strike and pulled what looked to be about a 2 pounder into the boat. This poor little guy had about 4 or 5 of the jitterbugs hooks in him including 2 in his gills. A quick thinking Napa performed major surgery on this bass Jack Shepard style. We took a few post-operation pictures and celebrated. What looked to be a disaster ended very well as we were both relieved to see this little guy swim away alive and healthy.

A few more beers and a few more swigs later, and I was back at it again. Napa was on the phone with the one and only Stevie Napa getting the details of the Bruins and Celtics games when it happened. I felt an enormous strike and I immediately knew it was a monster. My line, my pole, or my shoulder: One of these three was going to break. I endured the greatest battle of my life as I could hear the slob going ballistic in the distance. As I reeled her closer and closer to the boat, I saw what looked like a hybrid bastard child between a pig and a donkey. Napa and I started flipping out as Stevie could hear the whole thing on the other end of the phone line. As Napa grabbed the net and started battling this monster, I had visions of Ali vs. Frazier. The two gladiators went at it for what seemed like an hour. Finally, Napa bested her and she barely fit in the net. We immediately started going bananas as I liplocked the beast and admired my achievement. She gave us such a battle that she had bent my jitterbug. The only words I could say were Wow, ROY, and Holy [Insert 4 letter word of choice]! We took some photos and we basked in the glory of the pig.

Fellow anglers JB and Valps heard the massive ruckus and made their way over. The pig weighed in at 4 pounds and 13 ounces. Easily the biggest fish I've ever caught. We celebrated with beers, booze, laughs and more photos. After one final bonding with the Larry, I gently released her back into Maspy with a glowing smile on my face. I had caught 2 massive fish in one night. One Smallie and one Larry! It was unbelievable and as I write this I am still on a high.

Shortly after Valps and JB had paddled off to continue angling, we heard screams and shouts in the distance. Napa and I quickly paddled our way over and the first thing I saw was JB holding some sort of prehistoric serpent by the head. It was a massive pickerel! This thing was absolutely terrifying. It was like we were fishing at Jurassic Park. Valpey decides to liplock this thing like the savage he is as it chewed his finger to the bone. Photos were taken, beers were pounded, and hard booze was chugged like water as we celebrated all the slobs we had been blessed with on this night.

Nothing else eventful happened this night except for some drunken douche speeding around Maspy without any lights on. The fear in his voice was apparent when he profusely apologized after being threatened by Valps and Napa. We laughed if off and headed back to the shore where more beers, booze, hilarity and good times took place.